Funny and silly jokes for kids not only help strengthen the bonds between friends, but they also improve your kids’ vocabulary and early literacy skills. Can’t think of any off the top of your head? Check out the list of hilarious jokes below that will brighten up your day.
Kids love hearing jokes, no matter how corny they may be. Even though some of the silly jokes make you groan on the inside, it’s hard not to join in the fun when your kids burst into nonstop giggles.
Kids telling funny jokes to each other and laughing together is such a great way to build strong relationships. Plus, telling hilarious jokes to a friend who needs a little pick-me-up can make a huge difference in his or her day. They can also use these jokes as conversation starters with new friends!
Here is a list of silly and clean jokes to tell your kids that will have them rolling on the floor with laughter. You can make these into a joke a day calendar for the kids, lunchbox jokes to go with some healthy and yummy food, or simply something to do on a long road trip.
Table of Contents
147 of the Best Jokes for Kids
Popular Jokes for Kids
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye?
A: Between us, something smells!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 ate 9!
Q: What did one toilet say to the other?
A: You look flushed!
Q: What did the nose say to the finger?
A: Quit picking on me!
Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An im-pasta!
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: You put a little boogie in it!
Q: Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
A: Because she was stuffed!
Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May!
Q: What did the traffic light say to the truck?
A: Don’t look, I’m changing!
Animal Jokes for Kids
Q: What time do ducks wake up?
A: At the quack of dawn!
Q: Where do cows go for entertainment?
A: To the moo-vies!
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course, the Empire State Building can’t jump!
Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?
A: A bulldozer!
Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: Because they use honeycombs!
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot!
Q: Why did the pillow cross the road?
A: It was picking up the chicken’s feathers!
Q: Where would you find an elephant?
A: The same place you lost her!
Q: Where do fish keep their money?
A: In the river bank!
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you?
A: Act like a nut!
Q: What was the first animal in space?
A: The cow that jumped over the moon!
Q: What do you call a dog magician?
A: A labracadabrador!
Q: Why couldn’t the pony sing a lullaby?
A: She was a little horse!
Q: How do elephants keep cool?
A: Ear conditioning!
Q: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a fish?
A: Swimming trunks!
Q: How do you raise a baby elephant?
A: With a forklift!
Q: Where do elephants pack their clothes?
A: In their trunks!
Q: What do you call an alligator with a vest?
A: An investigator!
Q: What kind of snake would you find on a car?
A: A windshield viper!
Q: What do you call a dog that can tell the time?
A: A watchdog!
Q: How do squids get to school?
A: They take an octobus!
Q: What you call a deer with no eyes?
A: “No eye” deer!
Q: How do cats make a pizza?
A: From scratch!
Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?
A: The outside!
Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
A: It’s pasture bedtime!
Q: What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
A: Hoppy Birthday!
Q: Why don’t owls give each other presents on their birthdays?
A: Because they don’t give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A: A dino-snore!
Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken wasn’t born yet!
Q: What is a pony’s favorite juice?
A: She really likes lemon-neigh’d!
Q: What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A: A walkie-talkie!
Q: Why do porcupines always win the game?
A: They have the most points!
Q: What part of the fish weighs the most?
A: The scales!
Q: Why did the giraffes get bad grades?
A: She had her head in the clouds!
Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet!
Q: What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?
A: You can’t tuna fish!
Q: What do you say when a cat wins a dog show?
A: It’s a cat-has-trophy!
Q: What do you call an exploding monkey?
A: A baboooom!
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite color?
Q: What did the mouse say to the other mouse when he tried to steal his cheese?
A: That’s nacho cheese!
Q: What do you get if you cross an insect with a rabbit?
A: Bugs bunny!
Food Jokes for Kids
Q: Why did the tomato blush?
A: It saw the salad dressing!
Q: What did the egg say when it was late for breakfast?
A: I have to scramble!
Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her parents were in a jam!
Q: What did little corn ask mama corn?
A: Where is pop corn?
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well!
Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm!
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: Because he felt crummy!
Q: What is brown, hairy, and wears sunglasses?
A: A coconut on vacation!
Q: What did the apple say to the dog?
A: Nothing. Apples can’t talk!
Q: What does bread do on vacation?
A: Loaf around!
Q: What did the tomato say to the other tomato during a race?
Q: Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
A: Dill with it.
Q: Which vegetable should you never invite on a boat trip?
A: A leek.
Science and Nature Jokes for Kids
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Q: Why can’t you trust atoms?
A: Because they make up everything!
Q: What is a robot’s favorite snack?
A: Computer chips!
Q: There are two robots sitting on a wall. They are named Pete and Re-Pete. Pete falls off. Who is left?
Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?
A: The mer-maid!
Q: How do you throw a party in space?
A: You planet!
Q: Why are robots never afraid?
A: They have nerves of steel!
Q: How do oceans greet each other?
A: They wave!
Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!
Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it!
Q: What did the sunflower say after it told a joke?
A: I was just pollen your leg!
Q: What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?
A: Hey, bud!
Q: Why are robots fearless?
A: They have nerves of steel!
Pirate Jokes for Kids
Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
Q: What did the ocean say to the pirate?
A: Nothing, it just waved.
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they spend years at C!
Q: How much did the pirate pay for his hook and peg leg?
A: An arm and a leg!
Q: Why are pirates such great singers?
A: They can hit the high C’s!
Q: How much does it cost a pirate to get his ears pierced?
A: A buck an ear!
Halloween Jokes for Kids
Q: What do ghosts like to eat in the summer?
A: I scream!
Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Q: Where do vampires keep their money?
A: In a blood bank!
Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
Q: What does a panda ghost eat?
Q: What kind of roads do ghosts look for?
A: Dead ends!
Q: What is in a ghost’s nose?
Valentine’s Day Jokes for Kids
Q: What did the one sheep say to the other?
A: I love ewe!
Q: What did one bee say to the other?
A: I love bee-ing with you!
Q: What do you call two birds in love?
Q: What did one volcano say to the other?
A: I lava you!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
A: I’m stuck on you!
Q: Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A: A calendar!
Q: What kind of flowers should you NOT give on Valentine’s Day?
School Jokes for Kids
Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
A: Because her students were so bright!
Q: Why did the kid cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide!
Q: What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?
A: In kinder-garten!
Q: What is the king of the classroom?
A: The ruler!
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: The teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Q: What do elves learn in school?
A: The elf-abet!
Q: Why do magicians always do so well at school?
A: They are great at handling trick questions!
Q: Why does the maths book look so sad?
A: It’s got a lot of problems!
Q: What’s a snake’s strongest subject in school?
Q: How do you stop a spaceman’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket!
Sports Jokes for Kids
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They’re always dribbling!
Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!
Q: Why is it so windy inside a stadium?
A: There are hundreds of fans!
Q: What animal is always at a baseball game?
A: A bat!
Q: Why is Cinderella so bad at soccer?
A: Because she always runs away from the ball!
Q: Why did the orange lose the race?
A: It ran out of juice.
Q: What kind of race is never run?
A: A swimming race.
Q: What is an insect’s favorite sport?
Q: What’s a golfer’s favorite letter?
Q: What is the hardest part about skydiving?
A: The ground!
Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids
Donut ask me, I just got here.
Luke who got a Valentine!
Cows go who?
No! Cows go moo!
Ice cream who?
Ice cream if you don’t let me inside!
Goat to the door and find out!
Water you doing in my house?
Other Silly Jokes for Kids
Q: When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
A: Because when you find it, you stop looking!
Q: What did one wall say to the other wall?
A: I’ll meet you at the corner!
Q: What falls in winter but never gets hurt?
Q: What building in New York has the most stories?
A: The public library!
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
Q: Why was the broom running late?
A: It over-swept!
Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Q: What has hands but can’t clap?
A: A clock!
Q: What do you call babies in the army?
Q: When is a door not a door?
A: When it’s ajar!
Q: What song do you sing a Snowman on his birthday?
A: “Freeze a jolly good fellow…”!
Q: What kind of music is bad for balloons?
Q: What passes but never pauses?
Q: What is the cutest season of the year?
Q: Why did the man run around his bed?
A: He was trying to catch up on his sleep!
Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: Stay here. I’m going on ahead.
Q: How are false teeth like stars?
A: They come out at night!
Q: What stays in the corner yet can travel all over the world?
A: A stamp!
Q: What does every birthday end with?
A: The letter Y!
Q: How did the yeti feel when he had flu?
Q: Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
A: Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom!
Q: Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar?
A: They each got 6 months!
Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up?
A: Because it was two tired!
Q: What has two legs but can’t walk?
A: A pair of pants!